To Whom it May Concern

Well hello there. How is everyone? I'm great, easy day at work and kickball tonight, it doesn't get any better. Now, I could probably spend a whole year blogging about the various things in Wal Mart that I find annoying. Seriously, as soon as I enter the parking lot of that accursed place my heart rate rises and I see red. I don't know why, it just does that to me. Every time I go there I almost have an aneurysm by the time I've left. For now though, I will only berate one jackass.

Dear man behind me in the check cashing line,

I have this thing, it's a bit neurotic, but it is what it is. I don't like people standing/walking behind me. I don't know why, it just bugs the shit out of me. Now you, in your particular brand of fuckhead, decided to stand not only behind me, but about two inches from my fucking back! Seriously man? I kind of wanted to turn around and punch you in the throat. Then, while you struggled for breath, I would have kicked you in the balls for good measure. I understand that maybe I'm the only one with this "people behind me" paranoia, but isn't it common courtesy to give people like a three foot bubble of personal space? And the worst part was that there was no one behind you. Are you just moronic or did you think I was really cute or something? Because you were so close to me, I could feel your heavy, fat ass breathing and smell your eau de sweat. You, my friend, are an ass hat. Don't be like that man.

Sincerely,
Chris Goretcki