To Whom it May Concern

First off I'd like to thank my readers. I know a few of you who read regularly, others need to either become followers or start commenting so I know who you are! Ummmm... It has been brought to my attention that I might gain a wider audience by toning down the foul language. Now, profanity is kind of just "how I am" so it would be hard, but if you guys think it will benefit the posts, let me know either in the comments here or on Facebook. For now I will remain filthy until I've a firmer grasp on my readers' needs. Now on to the main attraction!

Dear American consumers,

You've always been an arrogant bunch, haven't you? Treating retail workers like pieces of shit to make your own miserable existence seem worthwhile. Well guess what, fuck off! I've worked a number of retail positions in my day and I've a few bones to pick with you assholes. First of all, there's the pretentious "you're here to serve me" attitude. You know what, I'm here because it's a paying job that I can't afford to live without. I could give two shits about you and you're precious dinner party or tile job or whatever the hell it is you happen to be here for. When you treat me like shit, saying things like "Don't they train you here" or "What, you guys don't keep anything in stock around here?" or "is there someone else I could speak to?" or "Isn't it your job to help customers, well you haven't helped me at all." it doesn't scare me into submission or make me feel really bad that I couldn't help such a fine human being. No, it actually makes me want to kick you in the throat and beat you repeatedly with whatever blunt object I can find. Yet I won't do anything because I'm at work and I wish to keep my job. And that's the thing, would you speak to me like that if the circumstances of our exchange were different? Say, if I was just some guy on the subway you happened to engage in conversation? No, you absolutely wouldn't because you are such a coward, you have to get your aggression out on someone who won't do anything about it. You are a pussy. Straight up. Second, and I've addressed this before, don't show up two minutes to closing time then take your sweet time making the largest and most complex order you could possibly think of. I know you think the world revolves around you, but we retail workers have lives outside of serving your aloof ass. In other words, if it's close to closing, get in, get your shit and get the fuck out. Be courteous for once in your damn life. Fuck.

Sincerely,
Chris Goretcki