To Whom it May Concern

Hello everybody! So after a much needed seven hour nap, I'm extra motivated to get shit done. First order of business, find a second job. Hopefully I'll find one soon. I think maybe I'll clean my room today too. On to business! (I've covered this one on Facebook before but, as it's a daily problem, it warrants a second go.)

Dear Arizona drivers,

Do all of you just lose any semblance of intelligence anytime you're behind the wheel? I mean, it feels like I'm surrounded by retards every time I leave my house. There's the extra douchey habit of not using your turn signals. Come on people, it's not that fucking hard to flip that little switch. In fact if you'd like, I can personally show you how it's done after kicking your ass. Then there's those of you that slow down to like thirty when they see a cop or one of those damned cameras. What is the deal with you guys? Those things only take your picture if your eleven miles per hour OVER the speed limit! You know the speed limit, right? It's that number they post on those handy little signs ALL OVER the place. You don't, I repeat, don't have to slow down below the speed limit. Get that through your thick skulls because that one really pisses me off. And last but not least there's the people on cell phones. Like your conversation is so effing important that you can't wait five minutes until you're out of the car. No, you HAVE to talk right then and since you are so stupid you can't do two things at once, you automatically start going about twenty five and driving like a complete dumbass. I'm talking swerving, cutting people off, almost sideswiping fools, the list goes on. Anyway, I'm sure there are more reasons to hate the drivers in this lovely metropolis, but I can't think of any right now, feel free to comment with some. And to all of you horrible drivers out there, get the fuck off the road or at least get out of my way, please.

Sincerely,

Chris Goretcki