To Whom it May Concern

Hey guys, so I'm not gonna lie, life's been pretty good to me as of late. I've been uncharacteristically not pissed, sorry about that. Luckily for you, I got some inspiration after reading a comment on my last entry by my good friend Whitney, thanks Whit. It goes in line with my last entry but I'm going to focus on the service industry this time, this one really gets to me.

Dear bar/restaurant patrons,

Have you ever had a job where you were required to serve and please someone? Obviously not. You're so self absorbed that you can't realize that you're the only fuckhead in the whole place who is dissatisfied with your service. You make damn sure everyone in the place knows it too. You complain, first, that you were seated at a table that is not to your liking. Second, service takes way too fucking long and you are just so damned important that you can't be bothered with waiting for food. Last but not least, you complain that the food tastes horrible as if that is somehow the server's fault (or do you just like to complain to make yourself seem relevant?). You use such phrases as "I come here all the time and usually the service is great" or "Are you new here". You, my friend, are quite simply an asshole. Does it really matter what table you got seated at or are you just that unhappy with your life that you need to complain. Seriously, every time I hear one of you twats raising your voice for everyone to hear, I want to walk over and strangle you until you can speak no more. What do you do for a living? Whatever it is, I'd like to show up to your workplace and treat you like you are the worst fucking scumbag of a human being that ever walked the earth and see how you like it. Then, you have the gall to not tip. You know what, fuck you! That's how these people make a living. If the service is bad, tip 10 or 15 percent at least. Servers are people too, you raging douche bag! I'm glad I've never worked as a server or bartender because I would probably lose my job after about a week of putting up with pieces of shit like you. Servers, I commend you!

Sincerely,
Chris Goretcki