To Whom it May Concern

Alright, day two...

I already have 5 followers which is pretty cool. All of them are family or friends but cool nonetheless. Thanks guys! I'm feeling a little better than I did yesterday which is always a plus. I always end up getting a cold right around this time of year and it really pisses me off, you know? The worst part is it fucks with my ability to sing karaoke which may not sound like a big deal but trust me, it is. I mean it's only my favorite part of the damn week. Anyway, on to the ranting...

Dear Big D customers,

I really cannot comprehend what the hell is so difficult to understand about a huge stop sign saying "STOP employees only beyond this point". Seriously people, I know most of you never made it past the 7th grade but really? Then there's those of you who just have a sense of entitlement because you come in twice a week and buy 2 sponges and a tube of caulk so you think you're hot shit. Well guess what, I don't give a flying fuck who you are or how big of a hurry you're in! That sign isn't there because we at Big D are dicks and feel like making our customers walk an extra 20 feet to the front door. It's there because I'm not used to people other than myself being in the warehouse and I fly around those corners on my forklift with exactly that mentality. Honestly, I would not feel all that bad if I ran you over but I would probably lose my job so I like to avoid this possibility. Furthermore, I don't know if you've ever witnessed someone being run over by a forklift, but I have and it's not pretty. So how about we A) learn how to read and B) once learning said trait, learn to follow directions then I won't be looking for work and you won't be brutally maimed or worse. Deal?

Sincerely,
Chris Goretcki