To Whom it May Concern

I'll just jump right into the rants today as I really have nothing positive to say today. Also, it's going to be 2 short ones today instead of one long one because it's Friday, it's my damn blog and I feel like it.

Dear NAKAD Kickball,

So this season I decided to create and captain my own kickball team through your fine organization. I conversed with one of your admins through e-mail so I would know exact deadlines. I was told by said admin that the season would start April 2nd and I needed to have 12 players signed up by then. Why, then, did I receive an e-mail today informing me of my team's removal from the roster? I was never told anything about 3/26 being the cut off. Are you guys that inept over there that you can't give me proper information? And not only that, you also threw me onto some team called Team Cowabunga. I don't want to play for those jackasses! Seriously that's the best name they could come up with? I bet these guys were really cool in 1992. Thanks guys, now I look like a douche because I have to tell my friends they can't play because our team was removed. Screw you, fuckfaces.

Sincerely,
Chris Goretcki

Dear City of Tempe,
Do you have some sort of irrational hatred toward gas stations? I cut a 6 mile swath across your fine city and found not a one. What if I really needed gas, like 1 mile from now? Wait, I'd be screwed because your genius mayor enacted his beautification act which removed all functioning gas stations from your town. I realize your whole municipality is lousy with hippies, but that doesn't mean everyone who travels through rides a beach cruiser they bought on craigslist everywhere they go. Also, there are ample amounts of transients but not a single gas station. Those have nothing to do with each other, I just wanted to take another jab at you. Fuck you Tempe, fuck you very much.

Sincerely,
Chris Goretcki