Jazz musicians piss me off
Posted: Thursday, May 6, 2010 by Chris inSo there is a lot going on politically in my home state right now. You may be asking yourself "Why hasn't Chris tackled Immigration law yet?" Well the answer is simple. I WILL NOT blog about politics. Sorry. First and foremost, it might turn off readers. Second, I find political debate to be boring and counter-productive. And finally, I just don't give a rat's ass! That being said, it's been awhile since I've posted anything but I promise the rants will be coming with more frequency henceforth. Once again I encourage anyone to leave comments, it helps motivate me by letting me know you're reading. Now let's get on with it, shall we? (This actually happened 2 years ago, but I have to see this jackass every year so it still irks me)
Dear Fat Fuck kid at the Paradise Valley Jazz Festival,
God, let me just start by telling you how jealous I am that you can play saxophone like every other bad ass who ever existed (read Kenny G). I am just so disappointed in myself for playing rock guitar... I suck... If you haven't sensed my sarcasm yet, you're a bigger dumb fuck than I thought. Let me put it to you straight son, when we chatted two years ago, I asked what you played. You told me sax. Pink Floyd being the only non jazz sax I could think of, I jokingly asked if you knew any. Your response was "No, you have to have an IQ of 5 to play rock music". WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? God damn I wanted to kick your pudgy little ass. I told you that you had better watch your mouth around people you don't know and you walked away red faced like a coward. But you weren't finished, you had to get the last word in so you told me "If rock music is so good, why do these people all pay 200 bucks a piece just to get in here?" Well, you stupid ass, rock bands draw crowds of 40,000 plus so they don't have to charge that much. Plus, all your adoring jazz fans have an average age of 85. Good luck with all the ladies flashing those flapjacks to get a piece of you backstage, tubby. Point is, I should have kicked your ass up and down that place then, but I let it go because I was working. However, I now have seen you both times I've worked it since said incident and you feel the need to say something to me everytime. Leave me the fuck alone! Seriously! I am actually considering finding out when your piece of shit big band plays and waiting outside to beat you senseless afterward. You smug, fat, ugly, virgin, untalented piece of fucking donkey shit.
Sincerely,
Chris Goretcki
In my experience, any musician who's worth worth a damn appreciates MANY different types of music and doesn't discriminate against appreciating talent and chops because the genre is outside what he or she plays. Musical snobs are just insecure fucks who can't see past their own mediocre talent to break out of their box and be bold enough to appreciate "other" types of music. Don't let that jackass get under your skin...at the end of the day, he's just jealous he doesn't play rock guitar but is stuck being the fat geeky kid who plays the sax instead.